Life is hard! I don’t know about you, but I get far too caught up looking not only behind, but also looking ahead! Living in every moment BUT the one that I’m in!
Let’s go ahead and dive on into the personal deets. Currently my husband lives F O U R T E E N hours away. We have been living this lifestyle for several years now. It all started when I was pregnant with our second babe. We were relatively newly married, already had one son, trying to figure out how to pay our bills, live together, and take care of little humans. When Daniel got offered a job making more than double his current salary, it was obviously difficult to turn down, even though it meant sending him out on the road + me home with [soon to be] two babies. It was scary and after all the tears from the pregnant hormonal monster [guilty], he took the job offer and there we went traveling down this strange and lonely road of living separately most of the year.
At first, the sitch we had gotten ourselves into wasn’t so bad. I mean, of course it wasn’t anything either of us wanted. But daycare doubled, student loans still hovering, the normal monthly bills still coming, it was what we needed! But just like everything, the new wears off. We found ourselves hating the lifestyle, and just wanting to be a whole family. Unfortunately, at every turn, something would come up, keeping him from making it back home. And here’s the kicker, T H R E E years later, we are still trying to figure it out!
Last night as I was doing my bible study after the kiddos went down for bed, a light bulb went off. Don’t you love when that happens?! I’m all the time blaming circumstances. No matter what the issue at hand is, I can always find circumstance at fault for the reason I ended up with a negative result. Que light bulb!! Do you really think God doesn’t know what life you’re living? Do you really think he is blind to the road you are taking or the path you will take tomorrow? He KNOWS your circumstances!!
Priscilla Shirer could not have said it any more clear, “The Holy Spirit reveals God’s plan to you as He orchestrates the circumstances of your life”. But did you hear that? God orchestrates the circumstances of our lives. We did not just happen to fall into these circumstances. Just as Saul did not just randomly end up on a search for his father’s lost donkeys when he sought out Samuel, who then anointed him to rule! No friend, that is not what happened at all. Samuel knew all the while that Saul would find him. It was God’s plan! He hand picked Saul to rule and put Saul in just the right circumstance to be able to fulfill His will!
So what does this mean?!
It means we can’t look backwards [that silly anyways]. But we shouldn’t even look forward. I spend so many of my hours, trying within my own constraints to solve my family’s problem. I wrack my brain every day, to come up with a solution to have our family complete in one home every night and I get mad. I get truly angry when I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. When hopelessness sinks in and I start to listen to the enemy when he tells me that we will never figure this thing out. But the truth is, we are meant to live WITHIN the circumstances! He has brought us to these very particular places in life and there is a reason. It’s our responsibility to seek Him and joyfully carry out the tasks he has for us TODAY! We cannot control the future. We are not strong enough to carry the world. We are not wise enough to have the answers of tomorrow. There’s only One that can do all of those things!!
As of today, I will choose happiness, I will choose to seek out my DAILY duties, and stand firm in my faith knowing God has a plan and His plan is FAR better than any I could dream up!